The Virtual Vixen

It never rains..

2009-10-09T15:34:56Z

So, it isn't enough that the mortgage went up $800 due to a miscalculation starting at the title company. Jeff was just told that at the point he gets The Letter (tm), he will have 90 days of work left. Of course everyone is doing what they can to mitigate the situation. No harm, no foul, I guess.

I just booked a trip for us to go to Miami to join William's godfather over Christmas. He is paying for a cruise. He lost his wife to breast cancer over Xmas two years ago. Thought it might be a good way to remember Karen and catch up with a good friend. I bought travel insurance. I should check if loss of income is a reason to cancel a trip.

William LOVES his school. So I am torn. My gut says to dump the house and run back to WA (where my dear friends are also trying to find jobs). But I can never duplicate the experience William is having here. He is so happy.

I will focus on the fact that Jeff is an intelligent and employable man. We are resourceful people. This was one of my greatest concerns about moving. Now that it has come to fruition, there is nothing left but to solve the problem. Your good thoughts would be appreciated.

Happy Birthday Slysidonia!

2009-09-26T14:09:15Z

My dear friend, have an epic birthday and a wonderful time with your man. Hope the year ahead brings you joy, love and prosperity.

Monday, Monday...

2009-09-21T16:58:36Z

So the morning started off with it's usual routine. The 6 am wake up call, a scurry of activity getting people to work and school, multiple trips to the backyard to anticipate the whims of a young beagle's bladder, and a bit of pool maintenance.

Then I look out front at the crowd and two sheriff's cars. The dog across the street was hit and killed by one of the school buses that travel the dark narrow road. Sigh. Good dog, a bit of a wanderer. My neighbor next door helped clean up the scene which was generous as he had just returned from his 3rd shift job. No, I didn't see it and I didn't ask many questions. I didn't want to know all the details. It hurt my heart enough as it was.

Then Ditto missed his mark and peed all over the kitchen floor. So much for the 8 or so trips outside.

Now it is POURING outside and the pooches are napping on the couches.

I was already contemplative today.
Type your cut contents here
The marching band experience has been a good one for William. He is learning the value of sustained hard work toward a goal. He has made many new friends and shares a genuine camaraderie with his band. His music has improved and he gets plenty of fresh air and exercise. His academic survival depends on him managing his time well. Valuable skill. S'all good.

So what I find fascinating is that the band directors can motivate this group of texting teens into a cohesive, precision unit of 239. They have made compromises in the program. They don't travel to LA or Disneyland because the costs of doing so make the band inaccessible to many students. Hence they field one of the biggest band in their class. William is quick to point out the bigger is not necessarily better and that it takes a lot of effort to coordinate that many kids. The fluff stuff goes away so they can concentrate on presenting the best show for competition.

The band directors are not especially nurturing or touchy-feeling--more like drill sergeants. In fact, the visual director lost his post at another high school for disrespecting the kids. I don't get the sense that he is abusive or vulgar, just that he loses patience when the kids don't catch on. I wonder about that a bit as a parent.When is adding pressure okay, when is it too much. I bet William hears "RESET, do it again..." in his sleep. The kids are taught to compete 'beyond' the competition. They work to a standard of excellence, not to the standard of their peers. The results are astounding.

The directors--and there are several of them-- all work within their area of expertise. They all have a clear sense of purpose, all are on the same page. I assume that is the public face, and there are artistic conflicts in private. But the kids never see it and for that matter neither do the parents. They have a mission and every member of the band, the staff and the boosters understand what we are working for.

The parents are this amazing pit crew of participation. I guess a band, like an army, travels on its stomach because these kids are fed and nurtured every step of the way. The level of dedication is just amazing. The Avon band frequently gets booed and endures snide comments. The Band boosters for Avon give every band a standing ovation to recognize the effort the kids put forth. It isn't done to be condescending, and I think it is the only way to counteract the actions of the other schools.

So in spite of the work, the repetition, the hours, the kids love what they do. For their trouble they get recognition and an unfortunate amount of derision from the competing bands. Sometimes I don't know what to say. In some ways Avon deserves their bragging rights. They work hard and give up a lot. As a band, they strive to be modest and courteous. Even when they get their awards, they put the trophies behind them so as not to overshadow other schools. No matter how gracious they are, they still get crap.

So what does that say about human nature? As we admire the results of hard work, we also resent people who are recognized for it. We want to associate ourselves with champions, but we find fault with them as soon as they are out of earshot. Where is the line between cocky and proud? Why do we blame anyone for enjoying the recognition they earned through sustained effort and sacrifice? I am having a parenting dilemma because I admire good winners, and don't want to take away William's enthusiasm. It's hard to teach that winning isn't everything, when culturally it appears to be just that. I don't want to say ridiculous things like 'don't get your hopes up' because they might not win this year. How does that encourage him to strive with a full heart? Will telling them not to hope, make a lack of success easier to handle? Will reminding him that no one has ever won Nationals twice in a row increase the joy or stave off the disappointment?.

So I am processing: What is a good leader? What makes a good winner? How do we motivate people to find their own greatness and potential? What strategies do we employ to deflect the criticism that comes from those who can not or will not acheive the same level of success. ...Talk among yourselves :)

Well, the yard really needed the rain and I am grateful we got some. I have managed to spend way too much time naval gazing. Ebony is hiding from the thunder, and Ditto is chasing something in his dreams. Mamacita would come in, but the puppy drives her more crazy than the rain. I should go make some tea and continue with the laundry.

Happy Birthday Liesl!

2009-07-23T17:02:56Z

To one of the sweetest ladies I know. I hope the year ahead brings resolution to your current challenges. I hope you enjoy good health, good fortune and good friends for many many years to come.

Hugs!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday...

2009-06-28T22:29:56Z

The house is oddly quiet since we are missing our primary energy generator. Wm arrived in Seattle on schedule. This was his first trip alone complete with connecting flights and no direct assistance from the airline staff. I made him take a PBand J and a bunch of snacks 'just in case' on the plane. It used to really bug me when my grandparents made a production out of traveling. Having said that, more than once a well prepared sandwich was the difference between tolerable and pleasant traveling.

Yesterday after dropping William at the airport was Ribfest in Washington Township Park. A nice little community affair with way too many grilled pork offerings. Finished up with an 'elephant ear' because well, what else do you top saucy smoky goodness with? Then we watched a terrible movie with some friends. "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege". The movie truly sucked in spite of an impressive cast. All of this was very impromptu and relaxing.

After an insane flurry of activity the last couple of weeks, today is a day of rest. I spent some time at Michael's Crafts while Jeff killed off the alien/zombie hoards. The house needs to be cleaned after the teen invasion on Friday. It went extremely well. The kids were (mostly) well behaved and this was the first time William had friends over since we moved in. Turns out I 'rock' according to the teen drivers because I put a couple of signs out (one by the main road) so that they could find the place. I believe we have been voted 'place we'd most like to hang out on a hot day'. Which is cool, I guess. So the house is trashed and in my best Scarlett O' Hara voice "I will think about that tomorrah, for tomorrah is anothah day..."

As the sun begins to sink and we turn our thoughts to dinner (take out), I will go contemplate my new stash of projects from Michael's..we have glue and feathers, and beads and ...Have a great week!

Happy Birthday Lifeofglamour

2009-06-19T18:35:38Z

Wishing you a most awesome year ahead. I see great things in your future!!

Lilcindylou Happy Birthday to YOU!

2009-05-06T01:48:53Z

Hope it was a spectacular day!

Swine Flu Reference in Kenny and the Chimp Cartoon

2009-04-29T22:01:14Z

It's about 2:45 minutes in, but worth it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZj5b6cXCho

Gilligan's Island Hamlet

2009-04-26T16:21:47Z

Because this is stuck in my head..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cNN5zwEcXM

Happy Birthday faheud!

2009-04-26T14:46:09Z

I hope this year you will have time to pursue all of your passions! You've been busy enough fostering the passions of others.

Happy Happy Birthday faheud !!

It's all Greek to me..

2009-03-31T19:05:32Z

What Greek Goddess are you?

You are Athena!
Born from the head of Zeus himself, this goddess is the most respected and capable of all the goddesses. Like this goddess of defensive warfare, crafts and wisdom, you are courageous as a warrior, cunning as a fox, and wise beyond your years. You do not try to be a leader, but you are one merely because you have the raw material that renders admiration and followers. Though you may not know it...you have the world at your feet. But since you are wise, you will not allow this newfound knowledge to go to your head.

How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic</font>

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Weekly Weight loss Post..

2009-03-10T15:47:54Z

Weight: So today I weighed in and was 4.6 pounds lighter for a total of 8.7 pounds in 4 weeks.
Type your cut contents here If you add the 5 pounds I lost (and kept off) before Christmas, I am actually 13.7 pounds lighter than I was in October. I appreciate all the advice and encouragement. I did add more water to my fluid intake and that seemed to make an almost immediate impact. I am concentrating on making sure I get 5 fruit/vegetable servings a day. According to my trainer, it will help flush out the sodium so prevalent in the American diet. I already take (okay resumed taking) a potassium supplement for sodium retention.

Working out: I worked out 6 days last week and spent 2 hours on the 7th day doing garden clean up. I have more energy and I think concentration. My house is in fact cleaner and I seem to be more proactive. This could also be related to some flashes of the phenomenon they call 'sunlight'. I am having to work harder at getting my heart rate up. Does that mean I am getting healthier? The treadmill tried to kill me last week because it wouldn't register my heart rate so it push the incline through the roof. I kept thinking it would go back to 'normal'. I finally had to prove I was smarter than the machine, but I saw spots for awhile.

Coping strategies: Got stressed, went to the gym and was very pleased that I didn't resort to donut therapy. Started planning meals and I think I am not only saving money, but producing more interesting meals. Found Swiss Miss 25 calorie hot chocolate. Evenings tend to be my worst time of day. A cup of coco will keep me from making bad choices most of the time. It isn't fabulous, but it actually makes a cup of coffee taste pretty good. Plus it has calcium. Sugarfree gum. A tip I stole from the Biggest Loser website or interview. My jaw muscles are getting so strong, I should be able to chew through a chain link fence soon. Some of you probably think I can already do that...

Weight Watchers: I hate to admit that I actually enjoyed the meeting today. It could be that I had something to contribute to the 'exercise' topic. Also I mentioned the Swiss Miss coffee combo and some of the women thought that rawked. I wanted to say," Hell, I'm from Seattle. You can do amazing things to coffee..".

Favorite quotes: 'Fail to plan, plan to fail'.
This quote has been done to death, but as a born-again planner, I am seeing my life improve.

"Most people aim at nothing and hit it with amazing accuracy".
Yeah, you've probably seen this one in my journal before. Goals, gotta have them if you are going to achieve changes in your life. I am surprised how satisfied I am about approaching even a nominal weighloss goal. I set daily goals, write them down and cross them off. Even though I don't have much to 'show' at the end of each day, my home and my life is becoming incrementally better day by day. I was pretty jaded about goal setting and planning after my sales career. The buzz words ring pretty hollow after awhile. That being said, goal setting can work if you are setting the right goals.

For E Ticket Ride with love...

2009-02-10T21:18:20Z

Happiness is.. from "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKKjqzkGo3o

For Khalja, Extensive Research...Borrowed from Outland

2009-01-29T18:48:47Z

To be or not to be..in the SCA

2008-11-26T20:12:34Z

The Mid-Realm is my 4th Kingdom. First there was Atenveldt, I was new and kinda fringy. I spent a lot of time being ignored and trying to find my way. Still, I was enamored with the 'show'. I was on retinue which changed the game and although I did not know it, it prepared me for the next phase.

Oertha (West) was my second kingdom. Smaller, very stylized--you couldn't get lost in Oertha. For me that was good and bad. Many niches were 'filled' and the game was markedly different. I found some people I really liked, served as princess, and found a niche for awhile.

An Tir was number 3. Honestly, I hated An Tir for quite awhile. I was treated like a newbie, denied access to doing the most menial tasks. Discovered after awhile there were many options and found a place to serve. In the end after much angst, it became the place where I really grew up in the SCA. Even at that, my life changed. I had a job working weekends and a son increasingly disinterested in the SCA. I drifted in and out the last year or so and discovered some things about my relationships. Good and Bad. Turns out some friends in the SCA are like work friends. The need to relate disappears as soon as the proximity does. Other relationships survive and everyone changes and grows.

The Mid-Realm. Well, I don't know what to say. Starting over takes energy and time. I have a home that needs my attention, boxes that remain unpacked, and a son who is even less interested in the SCA. Four years from now he leaves for college. By then the boxes will be unpacked....Still our friend here are all either in the SCA or attached to someone in the SCA. It would seem BAMO may make a reappearance in another venue. I am working (light duty) with a project that should be unveiled soon. Not my project, but I was honored to be asked to help.

Here are the things I understand about myself and the SCA.:
It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
It is a place of unlimited potential. I have developed skills and shared skills and become better for it.
It is a tremendous drain on time, money and relationships if you don't have really firm boundaries in place.
Periodically, you have to get really clear on what you want and why. Set the goals and work toward them. In the SCA as in life, if you aim at nothing--you will hit it with amazing accuracy every time.
Priorities change. So will the level and intensity that you play at.
People forget, except your really close friends. Good or bad, lover or fighter...you are only as good as your last conquest. Validation comes from with out, value comes from within.
To thine own self be true. Because in the end, that is the only thing that matters.

YMMV, OAC, Tax and license not included.
So that's it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Happy Birthday Brighid

2008-11-24T21:09:04Z

The LJ reminder failed me. If I had minions, there would be beatings and no hot chocolate. Anyway, have a wonderful birthday. Hope the year ahead brings you what you need in addition to what you want.

Love,
The Browns on Avon

Rock Star Mom..

2008-10-11T04:17:54Z

William's 15 birthday is Saturday. I am baking two different cakes from scratch, his two absolute favorites. Tonight's installment was a fragrant gingerbread full of spicy goodness. Tomorrow I will frost it with buttercream frosting and make the chocolate cake from the back of the Hershey's Cocoa can. From scratch... for him. Mom rocks!!! I had my new apron on and Martha would have be proud. That is until I dropped the egg shells into the kitchenaid with the egg. I have done that exactly twice in 40 years of cooking. I went from Martha Stewart to Barbara Stanwyck in "Christmas in Connecticut". Dumped out some fine cake batter and had to start over. The second batch is cooling and on this crisp Autumn night, it smells like heaven.

I spent the day caulking the upstairs bathroom. Turns out, when water leaks onto the floor 'outside' the shower, it magically appears through the light fixture in the kitchen. Entertaining, but not practical. Given the height of the son(6'3"), the angle of the shower head and the curvature of the shower rod, I was sure there will be more opportunities for shower spillage.Can't fight physics. Caulk is our last best defense. I installed shower guards as well.

William is recovering from some icky flu thing. The doctor was also treating him for whooping cough as there was a breakout at the high school. I guess it doesn't show up right away and the doctor wanted to be safe. No whooping cough and the fever is gone. He missed almost a week of school. He misses his old friends and I think that is especially true because his birthday is coming and he felt like crap. He asked to move back to WA and live with his friend, Martin. Half kidding, half not. He seems to be working through it. He met some 'friends' (we aren't committing to that term quite yet) at the football game. This is the first obvious attempt at socializing with the natives. I take it as a good sign.

Sunday I will put up all the Halloween decorations. Solid rule, no Halloween until after the 11th. I bought an enormous blowup figure of a skeleton on a coach. William is afraid that his bus-mates will discover how freaky his parents really are. I promised to deflate it between the hours of 6 AM and 4 PM. I will give some concessions, but I will not give up my October decor. A tacky tradition is a tradition just the same...

Picking up the Gauntlet from Parlor Games..

2008-10-01T20:28:15Z

"Let's amuse ourselves with a homegrown meme, shall we?

I want to know three surprising things that you like or want. Extra credit if they are things that make you cringe a little, even as you type them. "

1.I am a pop psychology and management theory junkie. The latest greatest self help book is probably in my library. Next to it will be how to motivate employees by 10 different 'experts'. You would think I would get a job and use all that fine knowledge.

2.Tuna fish salad like my dad used to make it. Tuna, mayo, dill pickle, onion and cheese (potato chips on the sandwich or on the side).

3.Someday I want to throw a Dickens era Christmas party. Costumes, the works.

A Moistened Bit with a Scimitar...I like it

2008-09-24T19:36:16Z

Your result for The Camelot Test...

Lady of the Lake

Mistress of the Enchanted Isle (Avalon), you are beautiful, poised and very powerful. You strike fear and love in the heart of your peers.

Take The Camelot Test at HelloQuizzy

On with the show...

2008-08-28T19:44:58Z

I was watching the DNC last night, and for several nights prior.I love a good election year, and this one is better than most. Plenty of theater. This is not a post about who you should vote for, but this monologue from The American President keeps running through my head.

President Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas)
America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free".......
... We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character......

But my favorite quote is:

Lewis Rothshild: People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.

Can't wait for tonight's installment..

Update

2008-08-01T15:25:47Z

The house on Pine Street 'closed' last night. The buyers were THRILLED after the walk through. Julie (one of the buyers) called me from her realtor's phone to gush over how nice the house was and how grateful they were for the stuff we left behind. Kewl. Color me relieved. The house was clean when we left but not spotless. I felt guilty, but it turns out there was no need. My neighbors kept the tender plants watered and according to them the yard was nice and green. Done and Done.

The well water issue has been solved. We installed an 'iron' filter and it no longer smells. The drinking water filter will go in with the new kitchen. I am probably overreacting. Given the stuff they find in city water nationally, we probably are better off.

PODS #1 is in the driveway. PODS #2 will arrive around noon. William and I will start the unpacking while Donnan and our friend Jim, go back to work on the kitchen. The lighting is nearly done. The cabinets arrive Saturday. The counter tops will be about 3 weeks beyond that. The end result will be mahvahlous. Next they are putting in wood floors downstairs to match the existing floors. The carpet was AWFUL. With some paint and a couple of pieces of furniture, the downstairs will be done...for now.

Not so much with the lying next to the pool this week, but I haven't work very hard either. I did smite the evil wallpaper border in the downstairs bath. It was EEEEVIL, I tell ya. Donnan took out the 18 inch grape border in the kitchen before I got here.

Today we enroll William in High School. He starts in less than 2 weeks.

callistabee @ 2008-06-28T00:28:00

2008-06-28T07:29:48Z

Lets101 - Free Online Dating Site

Meme Theme

2008-06-25T22:45:04Z

1. In tandem skydiving in Florida
2. Skinny dipping in a hot pot in Yellowstone National Park
3.Played the lead in Owl in the Pussycat in community theater.

Moving Mountains and Teachable Moments

2008-06-17T02:33:20Z

A couple of observations and a little story behind the cut.

1100 lbs of pavers, 760 lbs of gravel, 360 lbs of rainbow rock = 2220 lbs. Who knew that with basic sustained effort, that they could be moved by an out of shape, middle aged women with just reasonable effort. No big shakes, one paver and bag at a time over a course of a couple of days. Life lesson there. You can move mountains if you want to bad enough.

Next, if you lack strength you can get the same results with leverage. In my case all it took was a hand truck and some basic knowledge of leverage points to move a washer and dryer by myself. Again, no big deal and it made me feel like a super hero.

Type your cut contents here.

Teachable Moments, Irony, and being humbled..

William completed 8^th grade with suitable pomp and circumstance. I am amused by the level of fuss they make, but every milestone desires to be celebrated, I guess. At the ceremony, the staff gave away the ubiquitous ‘popularity’ awards that invariably lead to the ‘why not me’ feelings in so many students. I like achievement awards—awards based on specific performance. I even like awards that celebrate improvement. I start to grit my teeth at staff generated selections based on non-quantifiable qualities or effective self promotion. I think the ‘most likely to succeed’ type of things are hard for adults and just plain brutal on kids who are still in the midst of finding their muse. What really bugs me is that the academic awards were not presented at graduation, but instead at a school assembly the parents were not invited . Academics represent individual achievement, not the affirmation of others. Just my opinion. YMMV.

That being said, William is a good student. I honestly don’t know if he exhibits leadership qualities outside of Halo 2. I am not sure if he is an exemplary example of inspiration and the ideal role model for his peers. I’m okay with who he is. Better yet, he is okay with who he is most of the time.

So William finishes the ceremony and even though he hasn’t said a word, I can tell he is working through something. Finally he says, “Some of those kids, I wouldn’t follow into a field of flowers let alone into a situation requiring good judgment”. Hmmm. And the other kids? Well, as it turns out, some are very deserving. No big surprises. Some are good at getting in front of the decision makers, some are just good. “I worked hard for 3 years”, he said. Ah, thinks I, a TEACHABLE MOMENT ™. So we have a long discussion about personal integrity and fairness and how to define success. He really didn’t fuss or whine and I felt GOOD. We were at peace, we had a good chat and life goes on…until…

We have to go back to school the next day to pick up his coat. As we are standing there and his teacher comes by. Rather off-handedly she says “Oh, we forgot to give this to you yesterday…sorry”. What she hands him is “Student of the Year” for the 8^th grade. Staff selected.

In a look so like his father, William looks at me with a smirk and says in a Mr. Spock kind of way, “Your theories have been debunked, mother”. Then he starts to laugh. At which point all I can do is laugh. “Myyyyth BUSTED”, I say, “but you know I am right?” We just stand there and laugh.

As he gets in the car, he says “You know this is ironic?” “I got the Student of the Year award in the hallway in front of only you. Not one of my classmates will know that I got it”. What can I say? “Well, the people who care, will eventually find out” I said. Honestly, I’m not feeling very wise and I am a little disappointed FOR him that he didn’t get his moment in the sun. I am so proud OF him that he was able to work through all of this at 14. In the end he shrugs, laughs and moves on…

Best Song of '78

2008-06-13T05:12:35Z

Yeah really nostalgic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-48r3v_5K4